A Single Step
Writers write!
At least that's the statement I've recently taped to my television set.
I've been dodging this truth for most of my adult life. It's a gift from God in which I've become obsessed with avoiding. Sad, I know, but if I'm going to tell it, I'm going to have to tell it like it is.
Ever since I can recall, I've been told that I am a talented writer and, ever since I can recall, I've believed that. Yet, I've searched for ways to avoid doing so for a living. If you only knew how many unfinished manuscripts have poured out of my fingertips...if you only knew how I dread even thinking about them...if you only knew how easily this thing pours through me at times, you'd probably want to slap me silly. I feel the same way, so I won't try to justify my behavior, but I won't hang my head in shame either. It is what it is. My gift, my talent to either waste or enjoy.
Lest you think I'm a total loser, you should know that I've been published and I've been rejected, which, in my case, is a good thing, because it means I've taken the necessary steps to even submit a work to be rejected. I'm not totally oblivious to the possibilities this gift provides. At times, I dream of sitting on Oprah's couch discussing my latest novel currently flying off of bookstore shelves since she's announced it as her new favorite book of the month. Of course I bring copies for the whole audience and they feign surprise when O announces that every member of the audience is going home with an autographed copy which, of course, is under their seats as we speak. (NOTE TO FUTURE OPRAH AUDIENCE MEMBERS: The first thing you need to do upon arrival at Harpo's soundstage is to -- Oh, you already know, huh? That's right, check under your seat! GOING EVEN FURTHER OFF THE TOPIC: Do you know how hot I'd be if I were an audience member and, after dialing for months, maybe even years, for tickets to the show, I crapped out and attended on a rare day when there was no gift under my seat??? Okay, I'm done digressing...for now.) I also have fantasies of accepting a Grammy Award for Best Songwriter of the Year, which, of course, is my second Grammy because I received the award for Best New Songwriter last year when I wore that stunning red gown and took my mom with me, because she deserves to walk the red carpet for being my first and forever fan. In my dreams I've also won a Tony, a Pulitzer, an Emmy, hob-nobbed with some of the greatest artists and newsmakers of our time. And, naturally, I attend all of the hottest events while people clamor for my attention in order to express great interest in starring in, singing or bringing to life my next project. Oh, yeah, I'm aware of this gift's potential and it has been the foundation which supports so many of my dreams.
Most of what I've published, however, brings me even greater reward than anything I can describe above. Previous renderings fall heavily on the side of inspirational and encouraging outreach. The letters I've received from people describing how my words have touched their lives bring me great joy and great frustration. Joy, for obvious reasons. There's no feeling in the world like opening up a part of yourself and pouring it onto someone else who greets your effort with an, "Ahhh, I needed that". I'd miss a million Oprah tapings, forfeit the Grammy, tell the Academy I'd pass on the Emmy and sell my Tony and Pulitzer on eBay all at the same time if I can bring that feeling to even one person. That one person, by the way, is the real reason why I stick with it. Yeah, there are other reasons, but that person lives inside of me and is me in a lot of ways and, because of them, I know this is not only a gift, but a calling.
*Sigh*
By now you're probably wondering, "Okay, so why does she avoid doing this full-time?" or, at least you should be wondering such. The simple truth is that this is often a painstaking, grueling, mind-bending, earth-shattering (okay, I'm being dramatic), deeply frustrating process. I mean, the inspirational stuff comes fairly easily. Poetry (did I tell you I write poetry too?), flows almost effortlessly onto the page at times and when I'm in an emotional state, I will literally fall into a trance-like state and write until my hands cramp and my eyes blur as a release (without writing, I'd probably be institutionalized by now...either in prison or the nuthouse). But, see that's just the thing...I'm an emotional writer. I need to first be in the mood and I need to be inspired. Only in times like these do I LOVE to write. Any other time, it's like pulling teeth!
NEWSFLASH: I didn't intend for this to be this long. In fact, I didn't even intend to talk about this. Please bare with me, I'm almost done with my rant and if you can relate, in any way, with what I'm sharing here, you'll want to discover where this is all leading. Anyway...
How can a moody person like myself possibly write full time? Here I have a Divine gift, but I only want to use it when I'm in the mood. Geesh, some people!
Enough of all that, though (see my mood is changing already).
Fast forward to the true purpose of this Blog. I'm in a rut. A very comfortable rut, but a rut nonetheless. With a degree in Psychology and 3/4 of a degree in Sociology, I'm no longer interested in figuring other people's issues out...I've got enough of my own, but thanks! I've done my stint in the working world and loved it, but I'm not feeling the 9-5 job thing anymore. Grantwriting is easy, but doing it for other folk bores me to tears. I've encountered minor success in the world of MLM, but I don't feel compelled to build another downline which is bad news for anyone in my upline, so I think I'll pass. Number One Son is in college and unless the Lord blesses me again, there aren't anymore babies to raise. My mate puts no pressure on me to work and has officially dubbed me retired royalty as my days, my time, my routines (or lack of) are completely of my choosing and I'm not even 40 yet. Another blessing.
So, in counting my blessings, I've decided it's high time that I step into my rightful place. The place God has provided and paved the way for me to arrive. In chasing myself, I've assessed three questions to discover who I am:
1. What skill or talent can I perform without even really thinking about performing it?
2. What would I do if I didn't have to worry about making a living at it?
3. What's my passion?
I've talked enough about #1...I think you get it. No, I'm not the greatest writer in the world (even in my own mind). Despite the fact that it's a natural talent, I still have a ways to go in developing it, I know, but I do have skills!
#2 actually addresses a few things outside of this medium, but all of them are accessible through writing. My gift will make room for me and, at the same time, be the greatest gift I can give back to God and others.
And, while the answer to #3 eluded me for many years (or I eluded it), it's true that writing is my passion. It's a love/hate relationship at times, but it's a passion always. When I'm overcome with joy or sadness, I write. When I'm wondering what's missing in my life, I write. When I'm planning my future, I write. When I'm thinning out in too many different directions, I write. Writing brings everything into focus for me. It's like that best friend that you sometimes want to slap for telling you the truth, but you end up hugging with gratitude, because your friend always knows exactly what you need to hear. Writing does that for me. It never leaves me. It doesn't let me off the hook easily and it doesn't apologize even for sometimes being a burden in my life. It checks me at every point in my journey and doesn't let me squirm out of who I am.
Okay, so here I am.
I'm a writer and writers write.
This blog's purpose is to chronicle my journey from this point on. My friends, I'm going to figure this way out once and for all and declare this my "new old" career. Picking up where I left off, I'll be honest with you about my journey and share what I'm learning. Perhaps I'll post some of what I've already written for you to critique (and I love constructive criticism! So leave me lots of comments) or perhaps I'll just start fresh and get used to this blogging thing on a brand new slate. I may even start a separate blog for showcasing my work, I'm still undecided. But I'll try to post as many topics as possible on my writing journey and a LARGE part of this blog will be my sharing whatever resources I find with others of you also in possession of this gift. For example, just in the past few days, I'm disovering lots of ways of making money writing that I never knew existed before (like blogging, lol). So, if you're interested, stay tuned and we just may figure out the real secret to financial wealth and freedom...getting paid to do what you'd otherwise do for free!
Thanks for tuning in and now it's time for me to make it do what it do!
Until you log back in, stay true and be blessed.
~BabyBlogger
At least that's the statement I've recently taped to my television set.
I've been dodging this truth for most of my adult life. It's a gift from God in which I've become obsessed with avoiding. Sad, I know, but if I'm going to tell it, I'm going to have to tell it like it is.
Ever since I can recall, I've been told that I am a talented writer and, ever since I can recall, I've believed that. Yet, I've searched for ways to avoid doing so for a living. If you only knew how many unfinished manuscripts have poured out of my fingertips...if you only knew how I dread even thinking about them...if you only knew how easily this thing pours through me at times, you'd probably want to slap me silly. I feel the same way, so I won't try to justify my behavior, but I won't hang my head in shame either. It is what it is. My gift, my talent to either waste or enjoy.
Lest you think I'm a total loser, you should know that I've been published and I've been rejected, which, in my case, is a good thing, because it means I've taken the necessary steps to even submit a work to be rejected. I'm not totally oblivious to the possibilities this gift provides. At times, I dream of sitting on Oprah's couch discussing my latest novel currently flying off of bookstore shelves since she's announced it as her new favorite book of the month. Of course I bring copies for the whole audience and they feign surprise when O announces that every member of the audience is going home with an autographed copy which, of course, is under their seats as we speak. (NOTE TO FUTURE OPRAH AUDIENCE MEMBERS: The first thing you need to do upon arrival at Harpo's soundstage is to -- Oh, you already know, huh? That's right, check under your seat! GOING EVEN FURTHER OFF THE TOPIC: Do you know how hot I'd be if I were an audience member and, after dialing for months, maybe even years, for tickets to the show, I crapped out and attended on a rare day when there was no gift under my seat??? Okay, I'm done digressing...for now.) I also have fantasies of accepting a Grammy Award for Best Songwriter of the Year, which, of course, is my second Grammy because I received the award for Best New Songwriter last year when I wore that stunning red gown and took my mom with me, because she deserves to walk the red carpet for being my first and forever fan. In my dreams I've also won a Tony, a Pulitzer, an Emmy, hob-nobbed with some of the greatest artists and newsmakers of our time. And, naturally, I attend all of the hottest events while people clamor for my attention in order to express great interest in starring in, singing or bringing to life my next project. Oh, yeah, I'm aware of this gift's potential and it has been the foundation which supports so many of my dreams.
Most of what I've published, however, brings me even greater reward than anything I can describe above. Previous renderings fall heavily on the side of inspirational and encouraging outreach. The letters I've received from people describing how my words have touched their lives bring me great joy and great frustration. Joy, for obvious reasons. There's no feeling in the world like opening up a part of yourself and pouring it onto someone else who greets your effort with an, "Ahhh, I needed that". I'd miss a million Oprah tapings, forfeit the Grammy, tell the Academy I'd pass on the Emmy and sell my Tony and Pulitzer on eBay all at the same time if I can bring that feeling to even one person. That one person, by the way, is the real reason why I stick with it. Yeah, there are other reasons, but that person lives inside of me and is me in a lot of ways and, because of them, I know this is not only a gift, but a calling.
*Sigh*
By now you're probably wondering, "Okay, so why does she avoid doing this full-time?" or, at least you should be wondering such. The simple truth is that this is often a painstaking, grueling, mind-bending, earth-shattering (okay, I'm being dramatic), deeply frustrating process. I mean, the inspirational stuff comes fairly easily. Poetry (did I tell you I write poetry too?), flows almost effortlessly onto the page at times and when I'm in an emotional state, I will literally fall into a trance-like state and write until my hands cramp and my eyes blur as a release (without writing, I'd probably be institutionalized by now...either in prison or the nuthouse). But, see that's just the thing...I'm an emotional writer. I need to first be in the mood and I need to be inspired. Only in times like these do I LOVE to write. Any other time, it's like pulling teeth!
NEWSFLASH: I didn't intend for this to be this long. In fact, I didn't even intend to talk about this. Please bare with me, I'm almost done with my rant and if you can relate, in any way, with what I'm sharing here, you'll want to discover where this is all leading. Anyway...
How can a moody person like myself possibly write full time? Here I have a Divine gift, but I only want to use it when I'm in the mood. Geesh, some people!
Enough of all that, though (see my mood is changing already).
Fast forward to the true purpose of this Blog. I'm in a rut. A very comfortable rut, but a rut nonetheless. With a degree in Psychology and 3/4 of a degree in Sociology, I'm no longer interested in figuring other people's issues out...I've got enough of my own, but thanks! I've done my stint in the working world and loved it, but I'm not feeling the 9-5 job thing anymore. Grantwriting is easy, but doing it for other folk bores me to tears. I've encountered minor success in the world of MLM, but I don't feel compelled to build another downline which is bad news for anyone in my upline, so I think I'll pass. Number One Son is in college and unless the Lord blesses me again, there aren't anymore babies to raise. My mate puts no pressure on me to work and has officially dubbed me retired royalty as my days, my time, my routines (or lack of) are completely of my choosing and I'm not even 40 yet. Another blessing.
So, in counting my blessings, I've decided it's high time that I step into my rightful place. The place God has provided and paved the way for me to arrive. In chasing myself, I've assessed three questions to discover who I am:
1. What skill or talent can I perform without even really thinking about performing it?
2. What would I do if I didn't have to worry about making a living at it?
3. What's my passion?
I've talked enough about #1...I think you get it. No, I'm not the greatest writer in the world (even in my own mind). Despite the fact that it's a natural talent, I still have a ways to go in developing it, I know, but I do have skills!
#2 actually addresses a few things outside of this medium, but all of them are accessible through writing. My gift will make room for me and, at the same time, be the greatest gift I can give back to God and others.
And, while the answer to #3 eluded me for many years (or I eluded it), it's true that writing is my passion. It's a love/hate relationship at times, but it's a passion always. When I'm overcome with joy or sadness, I write. When I'm wondering what's missing in my life, I write. When I'm planning my future, I write. When I'm thinning out in too many different directions, I write. Writing brings everything into focus for me. It's like that best friend that you sometimes want to slap for telling you the truth, but you end up hugging with gratitude, because your friend always knows exactly what you need to hear. Writing does that for me. It never leaves me. It doesn't let me off the hook easily and it doesn't apologize even for sometimes being a burden in my life. It checks me at every point in my journey and doesn't let me squirm out of who I am.
Okay, so here I am.
I'm a writer and writers write.
This blog's purpose is to chronicle my journey from this point on. My friends, I'm going to figure this way out once and for all and declare this my "new old" career. Picking up where I left off, I'll be honest with you about my journey and share what I'm learning. Perhaps I'll post some of what I've already written for you to critique (and I love constructive criticism! So leave me lots of comments) or perhaps I'll just start fresh and get used to this blogging thing on a brand new slate. I may even start a separate blog for showcasing my work, I'm still undecided. But I'll try to post as many topics as possible on my writing journey and a LARGE part of this blog will be my sharing whatever resources I find with others of you also in possession of this gift. For example, just in the past few days, I'm disovering lots of ways of making money writing that I never knew existed before (like blogging, lol). So, if you're interested, stay tuned and we just may figure out the real secret to financial wealth and freedom...getting paid to do what you'd otherwise do for free!
Thanks for tuning in and now it's time for me to make it do what it do!
Until you log back in, stay true and be blessed.
~BabyBlogger
posted by BabyBlogger at 4:45 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home